(no subject)

you know when you make music or art and you just think "this is something to do" or "maybe someone will pay me for this" or "this keeps me from going crazy" or "hey, at least I am not boring because I can do this"?

and then out of the blue something happens and you realize you were doing it for another reason and it's so lofty but noble and you're scared it won't work?

oh nevermind!